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Sunday, May 8, 2011 [1:28 AM]

this blog gt so much dust tt i doubt anyone visits it anymore. haha. but oh well.

felt Jesus pain when i was cleaning my wounds. my heart clenched everytime i think abt it.

im so tired. physically tired. but i dont wanna stop. cos this is wat God has given me. cried out to Him to sustain me. got a little taste of how serving in ministry will be like. the tiredness of it all. and this is just the tip only. and I was asked if i will still cont serving. yup, i will. this is what You have given me. how can I reject it? (yes Lord, even if the season comes and it's him i will accept and not reject) sustain me oh Lord, help me Lord. refresh and recharge me oh Lord. besides partaking in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ, i am also willing to partake with you fellowship of suffering.

Hallelujah. All the praise and glory goes to You. Father, glorify Your name

Thursday, October 28, 2010 [11:47 PM]

Yes, I mind alot that it's 8pm at night and i wanted to go and find you but i have to end up gng home alone. Is it so difficult for you to send me home once in a while? I mind going home alone. ALOT. and my girl friend gets send home by you just because it is CONVENIENT for you. and i mind that ALOT too. I wouldn't mind if you are sending me home often but no, how many times do you actually send me home? less than 10 times. Out of that 10 times, how many times did you send me home because you wanted to? I'm upset because your bus fare is more impt than my safety. I'm upset because I don't know when I can meet up with you again and you didn't seem to mind that fact at all. I am tired. Temptations and thoughts of giving up do pop up randomly here and there but I'm still holding on. Some things you forever won't understand.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010 [1:32 AM]

*sneeze* decide to update this dusty old blog since i just gt my laptop back. I'm still keeping this blog for the fun of it.

a few updates:
1. working full time now at wisma temporarily before moving over to RT. love it here. so much better than airport. the operation hours and location is already a big plus point.

2. God has blessed me tremendously these few weeks from work all the way down to my relationship with Him. My pay la, my work la, my schedule la. All like machiam plan out long ago liao and right now it is being executed.

3. Got a little bit annoyed over money issues

4. Hurray for me! I'm finishing "Getting Started" and moving on to "Christian Lifestyle"!

and the list goes on and on and on.

aiya basically, as much as i love it over here at WA, I remembered my goal and decision. Hence, despite the nice people here and others asking me to go over or to stay here, I'm still going over to RT. Afterall, I wanted to acquire the skills needed to be a professional barista. As nice as all the other options may seem, I believe if i continue on with RT more blessings are coming my way. There is a plan to be fulfilled.

Recently I asked myself why do I feel so not motivated to work and then I realise tt's cos fnb is not really what i enjoy doing. yea, i do like serving guests but I enjoy teaching and training new staff better (not because I get to slack ok ). Hence, i decide to move into the line of trainers. 3 more years in fnb and tt's it man. I'm not gng to keep staying in front line for the rest of my life. So boring and tiring!

As much as the idea scares me, I wanna join SNBC (go and google it for those who don't know what it stands for) well, i just thgt that if i wanna step out as a trainer, i got to have a bit of a title. Perhaps a degree in Human Resource will be good too. But tt's quite a long way down. I don't think i can do it but i believe all i need to do is just to take one step out of my comfort zone and all the rest will be completed for me.

oh well, one step at a time.

Sunday, July 25, 2010 [10:12 PM]

我想我应该放下一切, 学习如何习惯一个人生活。



Wednesday, July 14, 2010 [1:44 AM]

ok. that's it. totally get on my nerves today. I know I still can take it. I just need to let the steam off so that i can take it again. I know I'm gonna sound all high and mighty and etc etc BUT I'm not gng to care. up to this pt im still gonna practice internet responsibilities and keep the names as confidential as possible. for the sake of all you people asses. ah!

eh, come on. fine, milk jug still dirty from last night. my fault. i nvr clean properly. i gt no excuse for that. pineapple juice expire long ago nobody check. fine, partially my fault too for not checking. BUT is it ENTIRELY my fault? no what. anything expire never throw is night barista fault la? you do morning cannot throw la? floor dirty means i never mop la? come on, when the bar was handed over to me the floor is alrdy THAT dirty. and the mop is alrdy freaking dirty why nobody bother to change it? the mop is at the stage where it cannot clean anything anymore. it has been dirty for so long why you do morning never go clean it? so i night have to clean everything la? just because i do housekeeping means i have to clean everything la? so what? you take my housekeeping efforts for granted la? and for goodness sake la, stop leaving things lying all over the place can? squeeze bottles here and there la...knife on top of the sink la, on top of the coffee machine la...they are all over the place! condiment box for azuki beans also don bother to wash...blender also just wash with water jiu put back liao. busy or not also do the same. wash with water also nvr wash properly. kao! most importantly, the coulis also just put on top of the old ones. come on, you dono wat is FIFO is it?! still can tell people you smell alrdy if sour then throw away... piang eh...gahhhh!!!!!!!!!! you want come and tell me what i nvr do? i come and tell you wat you nvr do la! *faint*

sometimes i wonder why i'm putting my all for this place...for people who don take pride in their work...for people who just wait for others to clean up their shit for them...

Tuesday, July 13, 2010 [2:19 AM]

oh how I hate it when I'm being judgmental...when my emotions took control over me...like seriously, WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN?! Gah!!!!!!!!!!! *sulk* so irritated at myself... why did i even get irritated in the first place? cos the runner not fast enough to pick up the drinks? come on, he is new. i don think you yourself can make it that fast either. or is it because you are blaming yourself for not doing the cleaning fast on your side? I have no idea why cleaning took so long today. seriously, it is so easy to say "well, learn from your mistakes" and then when the circumstances arrive, all the mistakes made before start to come back up again...and there, that's my problem. Solution? still thinking about it... Gosh, there are so many things that Man need to learn... patience, love, understanding, kindness etc etc... no wonder we are given a lifetime to learn them...zzz... but argh!!!!!!!!! what if they complain? i don't think so. since i didn't do anything that bad. but you never noe, nowadays my boutique seem to have alot of customers complaining. they complain le then come back again...I'm not sure if that's a good thing though...no point worrying, what's done is done...feel that my worry is all for nothing only... oh God, help me T_T

on the good note, finally after dono how many tries i can draw a nice heart on my coffee! yay! now just need to refine it and make it bigger on the kenya cup. ^^

omg, should i transfer to another place when someone else takes over the boutique? ( it's just my own prediction) like, what exactly are my reasons for doing so? it can be quite a struggle. the thoughts that are running through my head are like this:

" I dont want to work with him... he takes control, that's it... I don wan to work for him... he doesn't even take pride in whatever he is doing!"

" but transferring for a reason like that...isn't it childish? just because you don like him...not that anyone over there does...next time you wont get a luxury like tt you noe"

" it is precisely next time cannot so now do it ma..."

" you shouldn't be thinking this way... you think you wan to transfer jiu can meh?"

" pray to God?"

maybe i can get a better reason when my timetable is out... haiz, really, if it's not for the vision and the opportunity, I would have left... press on my dear, yes, press on. Keep your eyes on the end result. oh God, please, let that project come to fruition. Place me under someone who is willing to coach me. Put me in a place where I can learn about service and coffee daily as I work. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

oh well, think i shall end here. think too much till i dono what else to type liao

Sunday, June 20, 2010 [12:24 AM]

had a great day today! never felt the presence of God so strongly in a church before. everyone was like really into worshiping God and enjoying His presence. everybody from young to old is there to listen to God's message and worship Him. So lively=] pastor's message was about righteousness through mercy and having a big heart. I've learnt something new today!

had dinner then went to ntuc xtra at jp. bought stuff to make my sandwich. decide to try out bacon and cheese. yum yum. henzy had the first taste and he says its gd=] haha. next time should buy more bacon and make it for dinner at home. oh oh and i enjoy doing grocery shopping with min. haha! cos its like shopping with my mom! oops.

i guess tt shall be all tonight. gt a phone call to make and i nd to slp early!!!!!!!!!!!!! gng marina barrage tmr with awesome people =]